The dark and cracked lens that I see myself through is a difficult sight. It holds all of my flaws and failures in perfect view. It highlights the shimmering flecks of my pain and all of the dark spots of shame.
It is magical and has amazing clarity in the areas I am not achieving while casting shadows on the things I am most proud of. This distorted lens is like a circus house of mirrors and I no longer can tell what my body looks like, it morphs and distorts the edges and I have lost all perspective.
I take a moment to reflect on what it might feel like to look through the lens through which I view others; my friends, my loved ones, and my clients.
Would I be able to see my Self?
Would I hold compassion for my hurts and trauma? Could I see the innocence of my inner child longing to be seen? Could I see my courage and determination? Could I acknowledge that indeed I too was doing the best I could?
What a dizzying concept?
Why is it so difficult to offer the same love and compassion we give to others? I know I am not alone in this struggle as it is a foreign concept I talk about in my sessions.
When did we lose the capacity to love ourselves and our human-ness?
It is often easy to give others the benefit of the doubt, but why is it so hard to offer ourselves that same courtesy? What makes us the exception?
I wish I had a profound answer. But I know the magic is in the effort. It’s taking the opportunity to try and keep trying. It is remembering over and over that it is ok to not be perfect at it and keep trying anyway. It is falling 7 times and getting back up 8 times. It’s dusting ourselves off when we stumble and get back up again. And again. AND AGAIN.
So here is my commitment and my challenge to you. I will try to look at myself through the same lens that I see the loveliness of you. Will you?